We were discussing the values we wanted to guide the culture of a new community we were in the process of building. I was advocating that we should spend some time defining what we collective meant by the values we were suggesting. Others felt the definitions were more self-evident. At one point during this debate, one of the members addressed me, “Ellie, I think you can trust us!”

That one simple sentence sent me into a space of emotional chaos. First, the issue I was raising actually had nothing to do with trust and I felt very unheard in that moment. Second, pointing to trust as the issue when I wasn’t feeling particularly distrustful raised doubts about whether or not I was actually going to be able to extend trust in this situation after all. (I mean if they were pushing this hard for me to just accept things as they were, what was I not seeing; what were they trying to hide from me?) So yes, when I say I was in emotional chaos, it was as if the Egyptian god, Seth, had taken over my headspace!

Coming Monday, February 5, 2024 . . .

Living My Meditation: Wait! What? Meditation doesn't just happen on my zafu?!